Stories of Hope
Keep Pushing On
I began self injurious behaviour as far back as Kindergarten. I remember doing things like trying to fall off the slide and the merry-go-round in hopes of breaking my arm. Throughout my school years I was the one who took the brunt of everyone's jokes. My first thought of suicide came in 8th grade. A small eating disorder began in my senior year. During this time I had met my husband who was my savior. He rescued me, became my security post. I thought about him every second. He was out of school and living a couple of towns over. He was four years older than I and I truly believe I wouldn't have made it through high school without him. I had a big problem with self esteem. I had no reason to because I was a very pretty girl. Things happened to me when I was a child that diminished every scrap of self-esteem or self-confidence that I really never had a chance to mature. The weekend after high school graduation I was married and bought a brand new home, a new car.
My husband had a very good paying job. I finally believed I would be alright. But I wasn't. I went down hill. I began drinking and overdosing, and over a four year period I did more things to my body than I can even believe. Some pretty horrific things. I was hospitalized a total of 15 times. I was thrown into the mental health system and received a case worker and a therapist. Of course through the years these people turned over to other people, but I always had them. I still do. Some of the greatest lessons that I have learnt came from these people. Today I have two beautiful little girls. A career as an emergence medical technician. I have learned to love myself as well as other people no matter who they are of where they came from. I still have a way to go to become the person that I really want to be, but people are constantly telling me that I am making leaps and bounds. Myself and my family and friends come first. Self injurious behaviour can be overcome. You have to make the decision to get better first.