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Stories of Hope 

War Within

bulletAuthor:     Fiona
bulletAge:        16

 

The first time I ever self harmed was when I was 14. I was sitting in my room crying because I totally hated myself. I had no self confidence, I was so jealous of other girls who were pretty. I just felt so useless and worthless. I cant remember what made me do it, but I just picked up a razor and cut both my arms. Afterwards it felt good. It was warm and I felt safe. It was my little secret. I still self harm today but I am trying to stop by using different coping mechanisms. I have just come out of hospital because I wanted to overdose to make the fear inside of me go away. I also suffer from an eating disorder and major depression. You can only understand how it feels inside when you have been there. You cant explain the true torture inside. I want to say that even though I am still self harming with an eating disorder I am trying so hard to use other coping mechanisms and trying to accept the person I am instead of trying to be someone I'm not. It is essential to find help if you know deep inside there must be a way out. A way to be happy again and to enjoy life. I started by phoning help lines and they were really understanding. I then found the courage to approach my doctor who is being so supportive. I know how hard it is to eventually tell someone your secret but I promise when you find someone to trust you will find it easier. There is hope. I am still battling with self harm but I know that I will someday break free from these chains. Love Fiona xxxxx