Stories of Hope

Stopping is NOT Forgetting

My parents fought a lot and I was having problems dealing with religion.  A lot was going on in my life and I didn't know how to deal with it.  My Mom always dragged me in on her and Dads problems, and it made me more depressed.  One time this past October I had talked to a teacher about what was going on in my life and about how I had thought of hurting myself before, he said I should call him anytime I felt like that.  So one night I was upset and I tried to kill myself with a razor, but I called him and he saved my life.  After that I thought I would never do anything stupid again to stop the madness between my parents.  But I didn't keep believing that.  About two months later I drank beer to stop them.  Then this past month something happened to me and I began to cut.  I had told a friend and I found out they had just started to, and they had done it before. I didn't really think much of it, because I knew the dangers, and well I didn't care because anything could have been better than what I am going through.  I know several people who cut or whose parents cut.  My friends Mom cuts, and she ended up in hospital, like getting help.  I didn't want to end up like that, but I didn't stop, I kept going.  Then I told the same teacher who saved my life, plus another one, who I love very much.  They told me alternatives, like running, writing, punching bags etc.  I tried them out and well it helped.  This may not seem bad, but to me I had just turned 12 when all this happened and I didn't know what to do, besides the fact it hurt me physically, it hurt me mentally too.  I will never forget because it's changed me and made me grow.