Stories of Hope

I was 5 yrs old when I was abused by a careworker. I kept it inside me until I was 13 when all came back to the surface. my parents had had a really bad divorce and it was my fault ( or so it seemed )I just took a knife and started. I didn't think about it it just came natural. it felt so much better. I had found a way of releasing all the screwed up pain and agony inside my body. but it came back so I cut again and again. my arms are a mess of fresh cuts and old scars. it seemed like I was unable to stop as I felt like I was addicted to cutting. when I was 16 I started taking my anti depressants and sleeping pills for granted and I took 16 sleeping pills and some Prozac. I didn't expect to wake up in the morning. fortunately my mum found me in time and I was taken to a+e and my stomach pumped. I was lucky to survive and since then although I've made attempts things are getting easier. I started playing guitar in my band and we are doing really well. it seems I have something to go on for as I'm doing the one thing I love. my mum supports me every step of the way. I don't have a girlfriend so I haven't got to worry about being hurt that way. I'm getting there and one day I hope that I can stop for ever. the only advice I can give is if you are going to cut. don't go deep. you will regret it like I have. I know its hard to stop I've been battling against it for 5 years. just don't give up. there are always people out there who will listen and do genuinely care. if anyone wants to talk about s/h or my band or just in general u can email me at craigconyard@yahoo.co.uk peace love empathy and best wishes to you all craigxxxxx